@reef-conflict will be organising the next full member dinner. When speaking to others, I hear mixed feelings and expectations for this dinner. Also, it seemed to me that there is no simple answer to the question: what are full member dinners about?
Since we haven’t had one for a while, and since we have grown as a group since, I’d like to first gather some information (some kind of survey if you will) from all of you concerning your wishes, constraints and expectations.
Purpose of Full Member dinners
I’m aware of some underlying tensions (in myself or in the group), and I see dinners as a supportive space where connection and understanding can grow.
I don’t strongly feel tensions, but I appreciate having regular moments together that help keep us aligned and connected as a group.
I mainly value these dinners as relaxed time to share, connect, and enjoy being together.
Right now I don’t feel a strong need for additional gatherings and would prefer to keep shared activities light or minimal (because of limited time for example).
Other: specify below
0voters
Which elements would you like to see during the upcoming FM dinner?
Informal connection
Space for emotions
Conflict or tension processing
Practical updates
Playfulness / fun activities
Ritual or grounding practices
Just enjoy my food with some fine people
Other: specify below
0voters
What level of structure do you prefer?
Fully spontaneous
Light structure
Clear facilitation
Strong structure with defined rounds
0voters
Agenda coming FM dinner
I would like to actively help shape or propose parts of the agenda.
I’m open to contributing if invited, but don’t want responsibility for planning.
I prefer to come and participate without being involved in preparation.
0voters
And lastly: when will you be available for the next FM dinner?
Friday 13/03 18h
Saturday 14/03 13h
Saturday 14/03 18h
Sunday 15/03 17h (after plenary)
Friday 20/03 18h
Saturday 21/03 13h
Saturday 21/03 18h
Sunday 22/03 13h
Sunday 22/03 18h
Friday 27/03 18h
Saturday 28/03 13h
Saturday 28/03 18h
Sunday 29/03 13h
Sunday 29/03 18h
None of these dates work for me
0voters
Sorry for this whole sandwich (as we say in Dutch)
And thanks for taking your time to fill it in @reef-conflict will be happy with your input!
For the one’s who haven’t done so yet, can you please fill in the poll in the first post (especially for your attendance this Sunday?)
I’m not sure I can stay myself, it depends on the kids.
Concerning dinner, I was thinking of doing a meal where everyone brings a component, so the preparation is simple (you just prepare/bring one ingredient!).
@joannes, do you think you can manage to cook rice for 10-12 people?
For the others, please fill in the poll. Each component should be prepared for about 10–12 people.
If you see someone has already ticked an option, please choose another ingredient.
Roasted chickpeas
Grilled tofu
Roasted sweet potatoes
Roasted cauliflower
Roasted broccoli
Roasted zuccini
Caramelized onions
Feta
Avocado slices
Tahini sauce
Tatziki sauce
Yoghurt-garlic sauce
0voters
About the agenda: I’d like to know if anyone would like to use this FM dinner to address something (formal or informal) that’s on their mind. If so, please let me know so we can try to find a moment to include it.
Otherwise, I have a game or two that we could play together if the time and the mood allow it. Suggestions are welcome.
Thank you @Sterre, especially for your thoughtful approach to the organisation and preparation I’ll be representing our household at the plenary on Sunday, but unfortunately won’t be able to attend the dinner afterwards…
From our side, we are also not likely to stay for the dinner, either Richard or I. There’s the Sunday-Monday adjustment and after a long meeting we will probably want to go home.
On the agenda: what I now have on my mind is this. In the post I pinged Team External, but I also see it as something I would love to do with you all. It could be turned into an internal reflection.
Hi @Sterre, unfortunately I made a majestically clumsy scheduling glitch, so I won’t be able to make it tonight. Apologies if this causes any inconvenience!
I thought some more about the possible purposes of a FM meeting/dinner.
What is living in the group: FM only, recommended presence,
Address underlying things, difficult issues: FM only, needs preparation, more than recommended presence
Connection: would open this even to AM: eg topic Alberto suggested a few posts above, game Lee once proposed (the “anthropologists meet aliens” game), …, freedom of choice whether to attend or not
Another thing I also would change, is the appreciations. We used to have an appreciation round in the FM meeting, we picked the names of two people and appreciated those FM. They way it happens now: the people taking up the biggest tasks/most work, get the most appreciation. I personally believe that all FM, independent of the quantity of work they take up, bring something to the Reef. And changing it back to how we did it before, will bring a better balance according to me. Could be open for Am as well
I also agree, and at the same time one doesn’t need to exclude the other: we can also have it both at the plenary and during connection moments.
For the former: with a bit of instruction from the facilitator, it should be possible to prompt people to express appreciation to anybody in the group. There are so many things people do that contribute to the group, going from what they say in a round, to simply showing up, to a soft use of voice during a tense moment, speaking thoughtfully, a silly joke, a smile, bringing cookies, … IMHO, with an open mindset, appreciation can be given to every member of the group.
I’ll be representing our household at the plenary on Sunday, but unfortunately won’t be able to attend the dinner afterwards…