Team Facilitation – general communication 2025

[GaultierDWM]

Hi @Lee, @reef-facilitation

Thanks for the extensive feedback Lee! I am happy to read the steps we have taken resonate with you.

1) Meeting up together

With the group expanding and the facilitator role expanding to other members I think an alignment meeting is a great idea.

2) facilitation of plenary meetings

I don’t think any of us were still aware we set any ‘hard’ training requirements
Our idea was that the upcoming plenary will be a relatively easy session and that would be a good opportunity for someone else to step in and get some experience.

I think I understand your concerns. We realized before our vision on how to approach this kind of undertaking is quite different. I think whether this goes beyond team autonomy is debatable. I also want to move forward in a way that is best for the group and makes everyone feel as comfortable as possible.

In light of your insights my preference is therefore to align with the team to divide topics for the next plenary so that I can do at least one topic. As far as I understand it is currently unclear if we will be able to organize a full NVC course this year or only next year so I wouldn’t make it dependend on this.

If we can organize a meeting short notice we could also talk this through before the next plenary. I am still available Thursday evenening, Sunday during the day, or Tuesday evening.

3) The training course

I really liked the training you organized before, and so I am also excited about the ones you want to organize! I can’t wait to be overwhelmed by the content of your “short slidedecks”

Okay for me if team Facilitation takes on the scheduling and to align during our meeting how to combine them with the concept of practice sessions.

Looking forward to possibly seeing some of you tonight!

Regards
Gaultier

[ChrisM]

Thanks for your post Lee!

@Lee

The way I understand things, in 2023 we had a look at training requirements at group level (internal link), which was translated into the Onboarding Manual as follows (section 8.2.2 - internal link):

Although I was in favour of all this at the time, and still am (as an ideal), I think that we risk moving too slowly with regard to the development of a genuine facilitation ‘team’ if we take too rigid an approach to ticking all the boxes. Although I have done all of the above now, I had done absolutely none of these things when I started facilitating full plenary meetings three years ago. I believe that nothing beats experience, and that it would be in all our interests if that started happening in tandem with doing the training, etc…

@Lee

At the same time this does go beyond team autonomy to me (as it has an impact on the entire group), so that’s why I wanted to ask you whether 1) in light of the above, you’d be willing to reconsider the decision to have Gaultier facilitate a full plenary meeting in one go

I agree with Gautier that it is indeed within team autonomy, but I’m not going to involve myself with this decision (for reasons that will become apparent below). I will say that both Gautier and Joannes have done some training and simulations; furthermore, Gautier has facilitated team meetings and Joannes has already facilitated a plenary. I believe that both are ready to facilitate plenary meetings, particularly at this point in the project where we have more time and less pressure (relatively speaking). And there may be moments when it gets tumultuous. However, despite our respective strengths and weaknesses as facilitators, Lee, perhaps you might agree that we have both benefitted from the opportunity to dive in, and even more so from the mistakes we have made and learned from.

@Lee

The training course that I would like to organise

The training course that I would like to create would bring together the following:

• Key learnings from the 3x2 SoFA training (it would replace it)
• Key learnings from the chapter on facilitation from “Many Voices One Song”
• Facilitation skills based on NVC (i.e. the listening part, including making people feel heard and resetting people’s nervous system to “rest and digest” when things get tense)

I’m sure that this training will be wonderful! Unfortunately, I will not be participating in it, nor in the decision-making/discussion leading up to it. As I have said in a separate post (https://edgeryders.eu/t/taking-a-break/17832/114?u=chrism), I will be taking a break (more or less) from the Reef for a while. Furthermore, when I return, it is my intention to slowly step back from the facilitation role, to allow a space for Gautier and Joannes, and also Maria and Hannah, to step into this role moving forward. I will, of course, be available whenever needed, but ideally as part of a diverse and well-experienced team

With regard to the facilitation for the remaining plenary meetings for 2025, Lee, you have said that you would like to facilitate more of them at the moment, and as noted above, I believe that both Gautier and Joannes are ready to be much more involved with that responsibility.

With regard to ongoing discussions within Team Facilitation, I will still be an active participant in the Signal group chat…

[Lee]

Hello @reef-facilitation,

I just had a quick chat with Gaultier, and we concluded that it’s probably going to be easier to continue this conversation in a real meeting, which ideally we’d organise as soon as possible, so that we can move on as soon as possible.

To make sure we have enough space and time to explore and understand things in depth, I’d like to propose a two hour meeting, online as a default, in-person if the stars align.

I have created a poll using Framadate, so that you can also get the option to indicate that if need be you could free yourself on a certain day if that would mean we could make the meeting possible on an earlier day: Poll - Team Facilitation meeting - Framadate

Once the results are in, I’d think I’d like to also use them to possibly set the first date of the facilitation training.

Can you please fill in the poll at your earliest convenience?

[mieke]

Thanks Lie. I was away for work and didn’t find a right moment to read carefully your post until now. We will first have a short online meeting within our team to talk some things through and then we will come back to you.
@reef-facilitation could you fill in your availabilities? Thanks a lot

• Monday 3 Nov 19:30 -20:30
• Tuesday 4 Nov 19:30 - 20:30
• Saturday 8 Nov 11:30-12:30
• Sunday 9 Nov 10:00 - 11:00

[GaultierDWM]

@mieke This poll only allows to select one date

I could make either date with the exception of Saturday 8/11.

[mieke]

Thx for pointing it out, I changed the settings, could you vote again @Hannah @GaultierDWM. Thx

[Lee]

Hi @mieke,

I am not going to resist against Team Facilitation wanting to have a meeting without me, and I’m also not going to make a fuss about it. At the same time I would like to point out at that this is at least a little unusual in the context of our commitment to openess, transparancy and colloboration, and so I’d like to invite you to give some thought to why it is important to meet up without me and why we can’t instead just meet up all together in one go. If you’d be willing and able to clarify a bit why you think this is necessary, that would greatly help me to get rid of some of the stories in my head à la “Do you want to talk about me?” “Are you not comfortable talking about certain things in my presence?” “…?” “…?” I can only wonder …

My personal impression - but I can of course completely be wrong about this - is that we are somehow stuck with a couple of ideas and stories that live under the waterline and that we are not really talking to each other, and that this absence of an open dialogue stands in the way of moving forward with realigned energy and a mutual sense of support. Is that something that resonates?

Whether yes or no, can it maybe be an option that we have a quick phone call some time tonight, so that we can better understand each other? I won’t pressure you to give up on your Team Facilitation meeting, but I would really like to re-establish a clear and direct line of communication so that we can get out of this situation as soon as possible.

In the meanwhile, would it please be possible for everybody in @reef-facilitation to fill in the poll that I proposed say before tomorrow morning, so that we can fix a couple of dates as soon as possible?

[ChrisM]

@Lee

Hi @mieke,

I am not going to resist against Team Facilitation wanting to have a meeting without me, and I’m also not going to make a fuss about it.

Why would you make a fuss about Team Facilitation meeting without you when you are not a member of Team Facilitation?

@Lee

At the same time I would like to point out at that this is at least a little unusual in the context of our commitment to openess, transparancy and colloboration, and so I’d like to invite you to give some thought to why it is important to meet up without me and why we can’t instead just meet up all together in one go.

I’m not going to get overly involved in this, as I am technically on a break, and to be honest Lee, I just don’t have the time or energy to get into this with you right now. But this has nothing to do with a lack of commitment to openess, transparancy and colloboration. You have some issues with Team Facilitation, some of which I agree with and some of which I don’t. You have offered to provide some training, based on you own training and experience, which Team Facilitation has graciously accepted and is moving towards implementing. In all other areas, the team has autonomy (i.e. trust) to manage its affairs without your influence because, and I cannot stress this enough, you are not a member of Team Facilitation.

There is an ongoing collaboration with you, which you have asked for, and this seems to be going smoothly if it is viewed as you assisting the team, rather than revamping it, which I understood was the point…

[mieke]

@Lee

I am not going to resist against Team Facilitation wanting to have a meeting without me, and I’m also not going to make a fuss about it. At the same time I would like to point out at that this is at least a little unusual in the context of our commitment to openess, transparancy and colloboration, and so I’d like to invite you to give some thought to why it is important to meet up without me and why we can’t instead just meet up all together in one go.

I’m confused about why you’re making this into an issue. This is simply a short online meeting for our team, and you’re not a member of this team. This has nothing to do with excluding you.
The reasons I wanted to set up this meeting are straightforward:

• Welcoming Hannah and Maria, who are new to the team
• Briefing Hannah and Maria on the three objectives we established before they joined: (1) to provide facilitation for group meetings and plenaries; (2) to develop a team of facilitators who support one another and grow together; (3) to learn new methods and prepare for future scenarios
• Aligning with Gaultier about what you discussed with him regarding “shared understanding.” I was on break (as announced on ER) and couldn’t respond to your post earlier, but I’ve since learned you spoke with him about this. I wanted Gaultier to brief us orally.
• Discussing the coordinator role for our team. I’m currently working almost 6 days a week and my workload is heavier than ever, so this is something I wanted to address with the team.

These are all normal internal team matters that don’t require your presence. Team autonomy is built on trust. It’s important that we in The Reef are given that trust and the space to organize and improve ourselves. I’d be grateful if you could give us room to try things out and develop our way of working.

@ChrisM

You have offered to provide some training, based on you own training and experience, which Team Facilitation has graciously accepted and is moving towards implementing.

And of course, we are happy to accept your help for training and your experience, and I believe that we are doing or best to organize this asap.

[Lee]

Hello @mieke and @reef-facilitation,

Let me take one step back here, because I have the impression there are a couple of misunderstandings at play.

If I am asking for a meeting with all of us together, the main reason is that I have a great deal of pain and concern in me since that unfortunate online meeting in August, and it would bring me great relief simply to be heard in that. So far I haven’t received a single sign of acknowledgement that indicates that anybody is aware of what is alive in me, and so I feel sad and alone and I really wish for getting a moment together to just get some space to talk and to be heard.

At the same time I seem to have the impression - although I may be wrong of course - that some people have the idea that I want to steer Team Facilitation. I imagine that this idea triggers some frustration and maybe also some defensiveness, because you really wish for some autonomy and trust? On this one I would really love to be on the listening end and hear more about your concerns and what’s alive in you, although I’d also like to share what’s alive in me, hoping that it will turn out that some of you might be making assumptions about what it is that I want that might not be fully in line with reality.

Taking these two things together is my main motivation for asking for a meeting. To me there is some urgency to this, first of all (and most importantly) because this is starting to weigh on me emotionally and I currently have very limited carrying capacity, and second because we are going into a new episode with a very intensive workload, and I would like to get started with this training part now that there is still more space on the agenda.

So when I first read that you first needed to meet among you, I felt a little confused, because I so long to have that talk and I didn’t really understand why you would want to meet without me first. Looking at the list of topics brought me some more clarity, so thanks for that, but it leaves me nevertheless a little confused because I don’t really understand why that should bring a delay to the meeting we will be having together. The good thing is I don’t need to understand - you do you - and I trust that you will come to the table for that dialogue whenever you are ready for it.

[mieke]

@Lee

If I am asking for a meeting with all of us together, the main reason is that I have a great deal of pain and concern in me since that unfortunate online meeting in August, and it would bring me great relief simply to be heard in that. So far I haven’t received a single sign of acknowledgement that indicates that anybody is aware of what is alive in me, and so I feel sad and alone and I really wish for getting a moment together to just get some space to talk and to be heard.

I must have misunderstood that this was your main objective. You did tell me, Gaultier, and Chris separately about how that meeting affected you, and I’m sorry I didn’t clearly acknowledge your feelings at the time. We did discuss this afterwards in our team meeting, which is actually why we’re putting a system in place to give constructive feedback to the facilitator after each meeting, among other things. I would just like to ask you giving us a bit of space getting started, to work things out and to organize ourselves.

Regarding your second point, yes, that’s the feeling I had after reading your Edgeryders post. I was away for work, very busy and didnt have the time to read it through carefully and with full attention. In the meantime you had already discussed with Gaultier and that’s also why I wanted Gaultier to brief us on your discussion, amongst the other topics for which I wanted to plan our meeting.

We’ve scheduled our team meeting for Sunday morning. I would be grateful if we could have a little time and come back to you with a clearer response.

[GaultierDWM]

Hello @reef-facilitation

I see that so far no one else has filled in the poll.

Can I kindly request everyone to fill it in as soon as possible.

I understand if you have doubts or are insecure about this meeting. I also want to remind you that our group is built on openness and trust.

As team facilitation we chose to take on the responsibility to hold the space and make effective conversation possible.

Right now a fellow ReefIing is asking us to hear her and support her and we are taking our time.

I have a very urgent need for us to come together as Reeflings and create a space where we can hear each other’s needs. And I need your support to make it happen.

I offer to facilitate the meeting if it supports you!

Kind regards
Gaultier

[joannes]

@reef-facilitation Gaultier, you refer to the poll that Lee created. I completely lost sight of that.

[GaultierDWM]

Correct!

[mieke]

I have filled in the poll but I am away for work again soon so I am not very available, apologies for that.

[GaultierDWM]

Hi @reef-facilitation, @Lee

Friday 21 has the most availabilities. Ok to set this date? Heart or stay quiet to consent, object before 10/11 please!

Online or in person work for me.