The Golden Circle
I’d focus on very, very clearly defining the W’s (Who, Why, What and How).
Pretty much all the information is already there, but it doesn’t completely fit yet, I feel. With “Meet the Culture Squad” you’re making a first suggestion towards who you are, but the only information provided there is concerned with the things you have. You are providing more insight into what EdgeRyders is later in the presentation; maybe provide a one-sentence definition of who you are here already. It makes for a clearer introduction. For instance, look at: http://www.edge-amsterdam.com/ (also click on the “what” page) (Oh, and the similarity in names is completely incidental).
I think everything that needs to be said comes together on the third sheet. Here, you’ve basically ordered things already based on the Golden Circle: Why > How > What. Make sure to give each of these points enough space to properly come across to the reader, and emphasize the reasoning, or why it is important. For example:
Why [something along the lines of]: At EdgeRyders, we see that many established institutions and cultural providers do not naturally think in networks. Our philosophy (backed by evidence) is that the collective intelligence of any community is more powerful than its individuals alone. When an administration opens the door, creativity and innovation come in.
How: EdgeRyders brings together citizens of Europe that are not afraid to look big problems in the eye [insert proper definition here].
What: We call this Edge Thinking. With Edge Thinking we rally citizens to build networks across borders. By tapping into the expertise of many more of the smart, wildly creative people in your community than those already on your radar, the network/community can achieve a shared goal.
We do this in two ways: by teaching people collaboration and effective use of open technologies, and by building a culture and workflow based on openness.
Note: I think “You can do it too” sounds like EdgeRyders is not needed to put this into practice. Say “We can help you achieve this” or something in that direction.
Then, I would go straight to the examples, they make the statements “teaching people collaboration and effective use of open technologies” and “building a culture and workflow based on openness.” a lot more concrete! Maybe even spend a bit more space on explaining what these two statements mean/what they look like.
After slide 9 (“Make culture with people, not just for people”) I would put the offer. Only then the reader has a clear image of what The Culture Squad/Edge Thinking actually is.
Slide 10 (“EdgeRyders is”) looks quite similar to slide 9, which creates some noise. Maybe use the space to define the difference between The Culture Squad and EdgeRyders. The title is quite a hard one to understand, maybe simplify that by simply stating what the sheet is about: “About EdgeRyders”.
On a final note: have a look at this pitch of Duch platform City Challenges. It’s mostly in Dutch, but it provides a framework and outline that I’m sure you can understand.