In function of decision-making needs and attendance, this could become a plenary meeting or else another group building moment
Timing: 19:30 - 22:00
Location: TBD
- Yes, I’ll be there
- I can only make it if it’s online
- Nope, not this time
0
voters
@reeflings, if you would know already, can you please fill in the poll above, so that we can plan a bit? TIA!
3 Likes
Hello @reeflings,
It looks like we’ll be having our first plenary meeting after the summer break.
Unless something comes up, my proposal would be to start easy and take on the following topics:
-
Taxe d’urbanisme
-
Continuation of the evaluation of the governance reform and the first two quarters of the year
-
Follow-up to the performance reviews of @ChrisM and myself
Hope that works, otherwise feel free to shout!
3 Likes
Unfortunately, I can’t make it this time; I am on offsite for work; we have a teambuilding that night. I feel sorry because I would love to join the Plenary 
2 Likes
Good evening,
Here is the link to the proposal on taxe d’urbanisme : Login – Nextcloud.
1 Like
Hello @reeflings,
Here’s a bit of a funny request. At the next plenary meeting, for the topic on the follow-up to my performance review, I would like to make a parenthesis on how we have been socialised to relate to each other. There is no person I know who can better explain this than Marshall Rosenberg (the inventor of NVC).
Just recently I listened to the following podcast: The power we have to create a world of our choosing
Not only I found it very wise and inspiring, I also found it very funny at times (I found myself laughing out loud like an idiot on the bus 
).
So my request goes as follows: I would really like to get to a shared understanding of the power-over paradigm we have been raised in, so if you could find the time and joy to listen to this podcast, that may be a helpful contribution. It’s really really really a request though, so please only do it if you enjoy it. I will try to bring a summary anyway (just more clumsily and in a less entertaining way), so you won’t be missing out. Equally no pressure to agree with all this of course, it’s just a way of looking at things, nothing more.
PS: if you would be listening - just for clarity - what you can’t hear is that he is really putting on fluffy ears, a bit like in the picture below:
PPS: There is one mystery in this podcast that I have trouble to understand, which is why nobody ever offered to tune the man’s guitar 
. More saying that as a word of caution, so you go in prepared 
.
8 Likes
Thanks for sharing, Lie. I was listening to the podcast and find curious how I receive NVC talk. In many ways, I have gotten to the same theories via other sources, such as (i) Attachment Parenting -on the references to educating children, the use of guilt, etc.; and (ii) feminism -on the references to social structures and hierarchical domination and one’s attitude towards this (except that in feminism there is always a clear link to patriarchy and gender structures). On the more negative side, I always see a connection to some of the ideas developed by postmodernist philosophers that refer to a modern, liquid world in which everything goes through personal experiences and needs, and also that it always seems to condemn emotional reactions that are far from the rational brain (the giraffe ears). It is always interesting receiving this input and reflecting on these concepts from different angles, though.
4 Likes
Hi Lie,
I’ve just listened to the podcast on NVC, I laughed a lot, thank goodness you told us about jackal ears and giraffe ears. The fact that he repeats things so many times helped me to understand this conference in English better. What an experience!
Traduit avec DeepL (https://dee.pl/apps)
3 Likes
I have to comment on this ----
hahahhahahahaha !
3 Likes
I’m not sure I fully understand what you mean, and I’d like to know more. I’m not sure that’s possible here on the forum, but maybe next time we meet?
If I need to take a guess, I think what you are saying is that you don’t like it when people are judgmental about emotional reactions, like “you shouldn’t be so emotional!” Something like that?
If it’s that, I think the podcast may possibly give a false impression, mostly because Rosenberg tries to make his point about the domination paradigm by bringing in some humour about how we have been raised to judge and induce guilt and blame. The name “nonviolent” communication also certaintly doesn’t help, because to many people it seems to imply that all other communication is by definition “violent” if not “bad”.
That would of course be in contradiction with the essence of NVC itself, which strongly welcomes feelings and emotions, and which strives to be free of judgement of any kind. In fact, many exercises start with things like “celebrate your jackals” or “jackal shows”, because we want to accept ourselves as we are, including all the judgements that come up. In that sense I personally experience NVC as a sort of awareness practice close to mindfulness.
I’m not sure whether that resonates though, so as I said, happy to talk more next time we see each other!
1 Like
Hello @reeflings,
With apologies for being so last minute, here is the link to the draft agenda for tonight: Login – Nextcloud
Key points include:
-
Evaluation of the period from January to July: what was going well, and what could be improved?
-
Follow-up to Chris’ performance review (Full Members meeting Coordinator)
-
Follow-up to my performance review (Group Coordinator)
Logistics:
-
It’s at my place, the address is in the agenda document and in the Nextcloud calendar.
-
We start at 19:30; arriving 10-15 minutes in advance makes it easier to start the meeting in time.
-
If you haven’t done so, there is a poll in the first post where you can flag your attendance. This also helps to know whether we are complete when the meeting is starting.
About the follow-up to my performance review:
-
I have prepared a Powerpoint and linked it in the agenda document. If you would still find the time, it would be helpful if you could already have a look.
-
Side note: it is true that the Powerpoint is long and has a lot of words. The reason I am doing it this way is that I hope it will help people (now and in the future) to get the gist of what has been said.
-
More on substance: I am a bit nervous to start a conversation about this, and at the same time I no longer want to shy away from it. To minimise the possibility that someone gets triggered when reading the Powerpoint, here’s a couple of key points:
-
I am 99% happy, really. I would like to talk about my 1% frustration though, because I worry it might backfire later on if we don’t.
-
What I am talking about covers three years of Reef, so it’s not necessarily only about the last six months.
-
What I am talking about is definitely not about anybody specific. It’s really about how we work together as a group.
-
In slide 24 I make a comparison about how we relate to each other in a power-over mode vs a power-with mode (the slide with 2 x 2 columns). What is important to stress here is that I am not sharing this from my NVC high horse. Quite on the contrary: in spite of all the training courses that I have followed, it fills me with despair to see how much I still function in a power-over / power-under mode.
-
9 Likes
hi all,
i am not sure i will be coming, my shoulder-neck-arm pain is back which makes sitting/standing slightly painfull/tiring if it is for hours. I will evaluate how it is after the R&O meeting just before.
5 Likes
Hello Reeflings,
I will not be able to be there, sorry, but @LuciaM will represent our household 
3 Likes
Thanks all for yesterday’s meeting! It really did me good, and I look forward to following up!
First step: following up to the message in the chat. Just in case someone is interested, I’ll come through on the offer to do the presentation again, this time online though.
If you would be interested, can you please let me know in the poll below?
- Yes I would be interested
- Nah, I’m good
0
voters
1 Like