Unravel the secrets of motivation

This mission is dedicated to Edgeryders participant Noemi Salantiu, a young woman from Romania, who seeks to unravel the secrets of MOTIVATION.

I propose, as background music, a piece by Michael Nyman, from Peter Greenaway’s film ‘Prospero’s Books’, a cinematic adaptation of The Tempest by William Shakespeare: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnxtxPkAEMA

In this movie, we see all sorts of wonderful books that Prospero writes.

Since I’ve been about Noemi’s age, I had a black notebook where I kept ideas and information that inspire me and motivate me. I stuck in this notebook articles, photos, etc. I transcribed passages from books that I liked. My notebook became so thick that it was no longer possible to close it. Loose pages fell out. When my son was born, I transposed the content of this notebook on beautiful 12x12 inches scrapbook pages, and inserted them into an elegant classy creamy white binder (intended for brides). I took the most important passages, delivered them to my lawyer, and demanded that they be added to my will. Because this is what I value most: the knowledge that I have accumulated over the years. This knowledge led me to happiness.

On numerous occasions during my life, I was discouraged. There was no one to comfort me. I have been alone most of my life. Hundreds of times, I laid on my bed to leaf through my black book.

Last Sunday, I was having lunch with a family from Romania. The young mother told me, watching tenderly her son play with mine, that when she lived in Romania, she had not learned, it was never been said to her that she is able to do things. She thought she was capable of nothing. I do not know if this is a widespread feeling there. But it struck me as being a major impediment to personal and professional development.

Motivation, I see it as being intrinsically linked to individual empowerment. Of course, it helps to have people around to motivate us. But the real motivation comes from ourselves.

Social Media and Twitter did not exist when I started my black notebook. Now, I participate in communities of people who discuss topics that inspire them. It fascinates me to realize that there are people who likes to talk for an hour about passion, compassion, etc. Responses from these people are wonderful. Today, I no longer need a notebook, because I found many answers along the way, and I am comfortable being a member of online communities. But if I could be 20 years old a second time, I’d do it again: I would have my notebook.

Here, with Noemi and others, we could discuss about what motivates us, what motivates people.

Lyne - Kiss hug XO


Since Noemi asked questions about self-motivation, I have been thinking about this, and asked myself where my own self-motivation emerges.

Acknowledging my desires put me on a quest to discover my inner self and accepting the core of my motivations.

When in denial of our desires, it results in cutting off ourselves from our creativity. Efforts should be made to tell people what we really want, express our deepest wishes and feel the depth of our longing.

Owning desires provides me with a stronger sense of where I stand with myself and with others.  When people understand what I want, they see more clearly who I am. And this encourages me in return.


I stay focused on my inner self through silence. I spend a lot of time in silence. I almost never watch television.

Modern life often doesn’t allow time for quiet reflection and meditation. However, it might only take a few minutes of silent awareness to experience the benefits of meditation. Combining meditation with walking is healthy for the mind and body.


I walk an hour and a half everyday, no matter the weather. I walk alone…  well, not really. Two years ago, I bought a big dog (Golden Retriver) that needs to do a lot of daily walking. I have no choice to go outside, even if I’m not in the mood (the dog needs to urinate, etc.). Also, the dog is a good friend of silence. We walk side by side, immersed in the moment. I like talking walks late at night, passed midnight, when the whole neighborhood is plunged in sleep.

Before returning to my hometown, I lived in Old Montreal and I took walks in the evening, to the old port city. For years, I have been walking.

Putting myself in a walking stride makes me immediately enter into deep mediation.

Now, I no longer need to make efforts to enter into deep meditation. I just sit down and there I am. When I drive long distances, it’s great! I do not feel the time or fatigue. It feels so good.

My dog has an impermeable winter coat and very cute boots, that glow in the dark. Bad winter weather doesn’t stop us. We take daily walks, even at -25oC+, in snow storm, rain, etc.


While I walk, I keep my gaze in front of me. I focus on the sensation of each foot as it contacts the ground. I refocus my attention everytime that my thoughts drift away and I bring them back into my body. This is not easy to do. It takes a bit of practice before managing to control thoughts.


I try to think of nothing else but that: my feet in contact with the ground. When my mind is free of all thought, I introduce an intention in this space. It is an infinite space, where all possibilities take shape. I repeat my intention a few times, and that’s it. No need to repeat 100, 200 times the same thing. I introduce the intention, and I know that once I released it, this intention has already been materialized. I believe that all I ask for is accomplished. Although sometimes I doubt, I force myself not to doubt.

The next day, during my walk, I remember the intention that I planted in the space between thoughts. I simply think about it, knowing that my intention is being materialized. I do not ask questions about how this happens, how, by what means, by whom and for what. This is not for me to determine the means.


I often chant mantras. To the point that my 6 year old son likes to chant them too! He thinks it’s a song like the others. Sometimes I hear it sing mantras alone, and it makes me smile.

My favorite mantra: Om brzee Namaha. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VGkTEE8riY

A mantra is a sound toinduce transformation. It is perhaps the oldest form of prayer of mankind (originating in the Vedic tradition of India).  According to Deepak Chopra, using a mantra “creates an environment that will allow you to expand your consciousness.” Mantra is an instrument of the mind, a powerful sound or vibration that helps me enter in a deep state of meditation. Silently repeating a mantra helps me enter the silence of the mind.


This video explains how intention and meditation are integrally linked. ‘I am responsible for what I see; I choose the feelings I experience; and set the goals I will achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me, I asked for and received as I have asked’. http://www.youtube.com/user/IntentVideo?blend=15&ob=video-mustangbase

Dreams will get you nowhere, a good kick in the pants will take you a long way. (Baltasar Gracian)

People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents. (Andrew Carnegie)

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I continue to Shine some light, with thoughts on self-love.

I cannot celebrate for having loved myself that much, most of my life. However, when I divorced, and later, when I started my thoughts-training-program, and I gradually began to see positive results, I realized what were my most valuable assets. From that moment, I authorized no one to discourage or devalue me.


You can kill someone just with words, certain looks. One way to ensure I would preserve and maintain my own self-motivation was to do a vast spring cleaning around me. I systematically removed all toxic relationships that plagued my life.

I did an inventory of what I had, what I wanted to keep, and what I wanted to be released from.

In order to be able to do this, first, I needed to have an awareness of the self: what activities and beliefs I value, what I expect and need in a friend, and moreover, the negotiable qualities I am willing to accept.

Determine what was upsetting for me and eating me away was not always easy. Even less to then express my emotions! The day I establish a pattern of honest, self-expression to create boundaries, I becan to toss the toxic out of my life. When I do not communicate assertively, ironically I turn inward and I begin to find fault with myself. I feel guilty about what I should have done or said. When this happens, I lose my power. I do not want that happening to me anymore.

At one point, I had to have an honest, intimate conversation with myself about my relationships.

Now, I protect myself physically and spiritually. I do not let negative people use me up and erode my self-esteem. I stand up for myself. I allow my real spirit to shine. I stopped pretending to acquiesce to those who constantly ask from me. My soul feels lighter.


At our very core, we are love. It is our true nature. What causes someone to spiral down into anxiety, agitation, loneliness or self-judgment is the conditioned mind, the wounded child.

I had to look in the mirror to see what were my own wounds. Self-love, the feeling of being loved and supported by the universe, begins from being deeply loved by parents in a way that fills the child up. Most parents of my generation, and the previous generations, did not know how to do this for their children. The result of that kind of limited-love parenting is that children grew up feeling empty and unloved, lacking self-love and lacking the sense that they are loved.

I learned that it is possible to self-cure the wounded child.

The book «Les 5 blessures qui empêchent d’être soi-même» (http://leseditionsetc.homestead.com/BLESSURE.html) from Lise Bourbeau really helped me to understand my wounds. This book is translated in English (Heal your wounds and find your true self), German, Russian, Italian, Croatian, Spanish, Greek and Turkish.

The five wounds are: rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal and injustice.

By the way, we all have wounds! It is impossible for one individual not to have any. We all carry something from our childhood.


After my father passed away, in 2009, I went into a totally crazy scrapbooking spree. I scrapbooked hundreds of pictures, 10 to 12 hours a day, for months in a row. I developped at the same time an interest in genealogy. I toured the province to meet all my distant relatives. We looked at their photo albums, and we exchanged some very old family photos. I became a friend of an 80 year old woman. I visited her once a week and enjoyed her talk about childhood memories of my family, while I showed her how to scrapbook. I also bombarded my 90 years old uncle with a ton of questions.

At the end of this adventure, I had a huge box of scrapbooked pages, covering 15 Robichaud families, dating back several generations. I’ll leave it all to my son.

I also engraved my name on the family epitaph, at St. Mary Salome village near Joliette, under the name of my father. I did some research to find the grave of my ancestor, François-Xavier Robichaud. The village gave me permission to engrave his name on the epitaph.

All this helped me to reconcile with my past.

Now that I know where I come from, I can walk towards what I want.


There is a great confusion about what is the higher self and what it means in this physical experience. The higher self is the non-physical part of our being, which is not in our body. It is connected to our body through the soul. The higher self has all the knowledge of the humanity, all the memories and much better understanding of who we really are than we do ourselves.

It is really useful to get to know our higher self because it can guide us when we are unclear about something or it can answer the questions that we are unsure about.


Love cannot be true if it changes for any reason. Love is supposed to be constant, through any difficulties. Shakespeare Sonnet 116 (published in 1609) is my favorite. Although Shakespeare’s intent was to apply this Sonnet to marriage, I take his description and apply it to my own self-love. I fail to love myself as much as I would like, but it’s better than it was.

Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken.

Boost confidence

So far, I wrote about how to have a balanced life: discipline the thoughts, and simplify other areas of life, leave the unnecessary behind, toss all toxic relations, cure wounds that go back to childhood, and establish a connection with the higher self.

All this happens when I concentrate. Here are other of my tips to boost my self-motivation.


Staying motivated is a struggle. It is likely that drive gets constantly assaulted by negative thoughts and anxiety about the future. Everyone faces doubt and depression, but what distinguishes a motivated individual is the ability to keep moving forward.

The key is understanding thoughts and how they drive emotions. By learning how to nurture motivating thoughts, neutralize negative ones, and focus on the task at hand, it is possible to pull ourselves out of a slump before it gains momentum.

To get away from the thought pattern of becoming jealous of competitors and making excuses for why I can’t succeed, I focus on gratitude. This means that I aside time to focus on everything positive in my life.

By making an effort to feel grateful, it helps me realize how competent I already am. This rejuvenates my confidence and gets me motivated to build on what I have.

It might sound strange to several people that repeating things you already know improves mindset, but it is amazingly effective! The mind distorts reality to confirm what it wants to believe. The more NEGATIVELY someone thinks, the more examples the mind discovers to confirm that belief.


We normally think in terms of fear: I’m afraid of being poor. I’m afraid no one will grant me recognition for my efforts. I’m afraid of being alone. Etc.

The problem with this type of thinking is that fear alone isn’t actionable. It feeds on itself and drains motivation.

By defining a goal, it helps me define a set of actions.

I stop thinking. I just do it.


Changing an average life into a passionate, purpose-filled, exciting journey is possible.

I make joy my #1 priority. This means that Joy is for Today, not Tomorrow.

The minute I feel less-than-joyful, I focus on my thoughts, I discipline my thoughts, and I force myselft to return to the state of joy. Contrary to popular belief, joy is not just the result of some sort of mystical coming together of favorable factors, but is the result of continually choosing to be in a certain thought alignment.

I have very simple tricks to constantly be in a state of joy, like singing really loudly in my car. I spend several hours a week in my car. Every time I drive, I sing out loud. Not just in my head, I use all the power of my voice. While I sing, I tend to have less negative thoughts. Spend 20 minutes to sing as loud as you can, then give me some news! You see, you’ll probably be joyful…


Making regular encounters with positive and motivated people really help me maintain my self-motivation. This can be as simple as participating to chats with peers or having a quick discussion with a friend, who likes sharing ideas.


What drives us? According to Vlad Zavadsky, there are 5 types of motivators – key motives (or incentives) that influence our behavior:

  1. Achievement

  2. Social

  3. Reward

  4. Process

  5. Idea


Existe-t-il dans le cerveau un centre général activant la motivation?

Une équipe de neurologues (Mathias Pessiglione), du Centre de recherche en neurosciences, a indentifié la partie du cerveau impliquée dans la motivation: le striatum ventral. Les résultats de recherche seront publiés le 21 février 2012. http://www2.cnrs.fr/presse/communique/2489.htm

Ils savent désormais c’est où dans le cerveau, mais cela ne donne toujours pas le secret pour être plus motivé!