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[noemi]

Welcome on board @Vojtech, looking forward to speak to you soon!

[noemi]

Hello all!

Curious what are you learning from your grandmothers in these times of covid19?
@marijana wrote a nice and quite archetipal story about an elderly person in the Balkans these days…
I am under the impression that we have a lot to learn from our elderly, but unfortunately it’s not obvious what exactly are we learning. Maybe you have an experience to share?

Vinka, The Everywoman

[image] This is grandma Vinka . She is probably a Serb. Maybe a Croat? But she could be a Bosnian too. It doesn’t really matter, because her life path wouldn’t be much different, whoever she is. Probably. Vinka lives in a small village, somewhere in the Balkans . Her husband probably passed away years ago and her son moved to some far, foreign land. She has probably seen her first grandchild when her son was visiting 20 years ago. Occasionally, she gets photos by mail and keeps her house like…

[Marijana]

Thanks, again, @noemi, I’m glad the story inspired you to ask some questions regarding our grandparents and what we can learn from them.

A small digression:

The story about Vinka, which I translated and edited in Serbian language, was published by the popular local online media portal and it got a nice feedback and - most importantly - many have recognized the patterns in their own lives or in the lives of their mothers and grandmothers. My ‘‘agenda’’ with publishing this story one day before the International Women’s Day was to shed some light on women who came before us and to maybe provide some part of ‘‘the bigger picture’’ when it comes to (fight for) women’s rights. Unfortunately, many of my peers and contemporaries, those whom I’d consider educated and independent women still reside within a deep patriarchal code and some are denying the feminist struggle and heritage which enabled them to be what they are today . In fact, I organized a one-question interview with 20 Serbian and Hungarian women, where they were to give a video-answer to one question: what does the March 8. mean to you? Except one actress, a journalist and a graphic designer, the majority of women talked about ‘‘the special treatment’’ they deserve on this day, the flowers and expectations what men should do in order for women to feel loved and valued. One of the women providing the response about the importance of receiving flowers from men on this day was a judge specialized in domestic violence, where women (and children) are commonly the victims (by the end of 2020., Serbia had 22 femicide cases in a year).

Now, back to the subject

@noemi

I am under the impression that we have a lot to learn from our elderly, but unfortunately it’s not obvious what exactly are we learning.

I agree that we have a lot to learn from our elderly, but I reckon we best learn after there’s a certain time distance between our generation and theirs. I might be wrong. In some communities, the stereotypes and prejudgments are very much alive and in use when it comes to this specific relation between the younger generations and the elder ones.

[noemi]

@Marijana

what does the March 8. mean to you? Except one actress, a journalist and a graphic designer, the majority of women talked about ‘‘the special treatment’’ they deserve on this day, the flowers and expectations what men should do in order for women to feel loved and valued.

I still don’t know what the ‘right’ answer to the question is. I’ve seen in my own feminist bubble that people reject it because of a special day for being a woman, that we should celebrate being a woman every day. Beyond the idea itself, I don’t quite understand (apologies!) if then we, as good feminists, should throw the gifts or attention out the window to replace them with…? Is it about making a point or claiming something else in return?

@jitka.kralova @Maniamana @Daliborka <3

[Marijana]

Yes, I also don’t know what the ‘‘right’’ answer is to this question. Maybe, trying to give a response to it could offer a glimpse into how women in our surroundings perceive the whole ‘‘female matter’’, are they aware of it? It does seem that the ‘‘celebration of being a woman’’ on this particular day mostly is about consumerism and the pressure put both on women and men to act in a certain way, sometimes even the banalization of the women’s rights in the form of - women have the right not to wash the dishes today.

It seems to me that the gifts and that type of attention are not the main issue. For me, it’s not a ‘‘this or that’’ situation, the gifts don’t have to be ‘‘replaced’’ with anything , but I see a challenge if it’s only about one day’s unwritten ‘‘protocol’’: when all the same things are said over and over and the flowers are given while, at the same time, the ‘‘top subjects’’ of Women’s day in 2021. are violence against women and abortion.

But, I am just observing really - not making any conclusions.